Me - You're the greatest friend anyone could even hope for, much less have. You're loyal, strong, honest, reliable, opinionated, and amazing.. there's just this weird quality about you that makes you so awesome to everyone around you. People lack a lot of that, nowadays. On top of being emotionally supportive for others, you always better your character. You're always improving who you are by changing things you do or looking at things from a different angle. I really admire that about you. You've got a good head on your shoulders, baby. I don't know many people who really do, you know? You also think logically and realistically. You know when to not let your emotions get the best of you, while other times, you can't help but be human.

And that makes me really, really happy, knowing that you're capable of messing up. That's how you came to be who you are today.. by experiencing things, not by trying to avoid getting hurt. I'm glad you've been hurt in the past, and I'm glad things have been tough for you, because you wouldn't be the same person without those things.

(I'm not done, so don't respond yet)

Killian - I'm not sure I'll know how to respond..

Me - You're so smart and responsive, baby.. you have so much potential. You take information given to you and expand your knowledge. I love how you're so justified when you say that ignorant people pushing away information being given to them is annoying, because you don't do that. Every experience and situation and connection and relationship and encounter leaves something to be taken away, and you almost always seem to be so receptive to that.

(still not done)

Not only that, but you have this.. impulse, I guess, to help others. You may not care about a lot of people, but the people close to you are so special. I know you'd do anything for any of them.. and that's why I feel so honored to be considered, at the minimum, your friend, close friend. Do you know how long I've been needing/wanting/wishing for something like this? I've never felt so close to someone before, and it's something I've always yearned for.

(still not done)

And I don't know.. every day I wonder how I deserved to be in this relationship with you. Why am I so important, you know? Why would I, out of a million people, be the one you would even THINK about calling your other half? Your best friend? The love of your life?

(don't reply)

You've taught me a lot, about the world, about you, about myself, about people. I've learned so many lessons from you.. I've grown faster, because of you.. I've so much of my life to blame on you. No, you deserve the credit. You really do. You're my hero, and you can't even believe that.

You're the only person I'd ever give anything up for, truly. You're the only person I'd ever sacrifice my life for. You're the only person I'd come running to.

And it hurts me, so much, when you can't see the things I see in you. I see a wonderful, amazing, talented, and hard-working man that I respect and admire, to the depths of the world.

Worst of all, you had to come into my life.. and be more than just my acquaintance. We couldn't stop at just being people who knew each other because of our mutual friends from choir. We couldn't stop at just being semi-friends who didn't have any in-depth conversations. We couldn't stop at just being friends who liked each other. We couldn't stop at just being lovers, people who happened to be in a relationship with one another. Hell, we couldn't even stop at being just best friends.. we had to become something so much more, something so much bigger than YOU and ME and US, even, if that even makes any fucking sense, which it does-fucking-not.

(don't reply; pardon my language. Sorry)

AND I SOMETIMES HATE HOW YOU KNOW ME SO DAMN WELL. GAH. I hate that sometimes, Killian. You sometimes know me more than I know me.. and that scares the shit out off me, sometimes.. there are times where I try, try, try to step out of myself, look at me, and see what you see, but I don't, and I can't, not right now at least.

K - I can't do it for myself either

Me - There are times where I feel like.. you know my steps before I do. Part of me really loves that about you, that you can be so good at reading me, but the other half of me is pissed off, because I don't want to be easy to read, but in my trying not to be, I am.

(don't respond xP)

When you first told me that.. there was something different about me that caught your eye when you first met me, I felt.. beautiful, mysterious, and unique. Like.. you, you, you couldn't figure me out at first. You had to dig deeper. There was much more to me than.. any of what you saw. But it's like.. I've lost that. I want to be familiar for you, I want you to know every part of me like it's yourself, but I want to be mysterious.. I want to do a couple of things that throw you off, not on purpose, but because that's who I am. I want to be.. unique and beautiful and lovely and mysterious and secretive, and I don't want you to know me completely, I want to keep you guessing.

But.. I love you. I love you, I do. I never thought I'd ever love anyone so much.. and it really doesn't feel like my love for you is even human, but at the same time, it is. It can be selfish and jealous and hurt and happy and tired and excited, but.. I love you like no human should be able to love another human being. It just seems SO FUCKING WRONG and NOT FAIR for someone to be able to love someone like this, especially against their own will.. I didn't want to love you at first, but I did, and I do, and I'm in love with you, and you make me feel like I'm the only one that matters in the world.

And I hate it when people say shit about teenage love, because I don't think that's what we have at all. Maybe it's the part of me that wants to be taken seriously.. but I want you to know that I love you because my love for you is REAL, which is something beyond human, immortal, and all that fancy stuff. IT. IS. REAL.

I'm rambling.. feel free to jump in anytime, now.

K - I... Have no idea what to say... You blew my mind baby. This is what I want from you. I want to know what's going on in your head. It's things like these that keep that mysterious edge to you. I love you too baby, more than I ever thought possible

Me - I did? I'm.. sorry? I didn't mean for all my thoughts to just.. come pouring out. I'm sorry.. but I'm glad I could still be a little mysterious I'm glad you do, Killian.

K - Don't be sorry! That's what I want. I want to hear, I want to feed off of what's in you, I want to learn, and grow, with you.

Me - That's so beautiful, baby.. and I'm glad you're responsive to my thoughts and feelings.. thank you for learning, and growing, with me.

K - You really know that you mean everything to me?

Me - I really know that, sweetheart. <3