Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

check please!

Posted by captainlemonberry | Posted in | Posted on 7:01 PM

0

There's no way I'm saying it, I really don't love you
There's no point in faking it, I just wanna get above you
I could tell you that you're the greatest, the best I ever had
Write love songs and deep poems, and confessions to you about
How insanely mad I am, in the head, of course,
But I wouldn't tell ya that, that'd be bad, and probably ruin the sexual intercourse
And all our haves and have hads would just be memories that wouldn't last
I couldn't do that, not to you, not yet
The water's still very warm, and I wanna dive in and swim
Skim the bottom, fishing out skeletons of all my dead reasons
Past relationships, and broken promises, and you wouldn't like that
Now would you?
Okay, alright, I'm being a bit melodramatic here
Could you sit down and hold back those tears while I try to make my intentions clear?
You see, I'm not looking for someone to get me, to try and understand me
Go ahead, have fun with that, but you'll never see the real me
I don't fucking put my emotions out on display, leaving you discombobulated while you sit in disarray
I'm not sorry, and no, that's not a game I play, because you can shove your sympathy up your ass if think you wanna set me straight, or get me out
Or whatever the hell you saviors do, trying to help people you don't know
Ah shit, please don't cry, seriously, are you even gonna try? Look, just think about it, I could've lied...I could've lied...
I'm not this great person that you've been led to believe
You think I'm some sort of romantic who wears their fucking heart on their sleeve
And it's violent, baby, it's a violent world, not rainbows and sunshine
But hey, kid, you're a dime, if fucking you is some kinda crime,
I'd pay the price, cause you help me kill some time
That probably sounds really, really bad...but, it's the truth, I mean, it's what you asked for
I know you...didn't ask for this, any of this
To be honest, you're really great, kid
You know, they told me the same thing they told you...you know, you got potential
But uhh...some of us are uhh...a bit different
So don't take this shit personally, okay? Someone's out there waiting to be loved,
And you've got what they want, and maybe that'd be a good start for you...
And thirty years from now, when you're married or somethin',
Remember whatever this was...whatever we had...
And just know that when I said I didn't love you,
I lied,
For your own good.

loved.

Posted by captainlemonberry | Posted in | Posted on 11:00 PM

2

And as I sink, drowning, I fall deeper into love, so deep, that I cannot emerge.

Canvas.

Posted by captainlemonberry | Posted in , , , | Posted on 6:56 PM

1


You were once my canvas,
So blank, dull, colorless
I came alone, armed with my words as my finest medium,
And you sat still, waiting, motionless...silent
And I embraced your apathy
Sensed your discomfort and replaced it
With my own loving hoping you'd respond
But you didn't
Yet I continued to paint my love on you
With pastels and sharp lines
I dug into your white skin,
Dragged my "brush" across your body
Felt the sting in my heart when my paint began to chip
As if it were allergic or aging with every bit of my forced passion
And I violently glared at you
As you rejected me, my loving, my soul
The sound of your silent reply,
The cracking of my once radiant abstract,
The remorse buried beneath the surface of your rough exterior
Laced my body with ice,
Froze me into a permanent statue
Only meant to move for you and you alone,
My words, my paint, fading, leaving you
Blank canvas on the white floor...
...becoming one with the surroundings as my immovable body stands lifelessly
Forever waiting for your heart
My own chambers engraved with your scars...
A product of our one sided affair

Armageddon.

Posted by captainlemonberry | Posted in , , | Posted on 6:01 PM

1

A bit of this is inspired by Frank's poem "What's Gonna
Happen?"

You sheltered me in your darkness,
Invited me in when I became lonely and empty
It soon became too bright outside
I couldn't withstand the sun's glare
Or the mocking faces of the others
Your shadows embraced me in a protective cloak
As you hissed at prodding children,
Baring ivory fangs that dared them hungrily
 I didn't understand your disturbed nature
Until I grew up a little,
Up and over you and our relationship
I always thought you were taking care of me
You always seemed to be so vigilant and sensitive
about my feelings
But it wasn't always so
At times I pondered about your vicious intentions
And prayed they weren't true

A few years into our demonic love,
I began to realize your true colors
And wanted to tear away your falsified appearance
Times where you'd once hold me tightly
On some kind of "love-high"
Became moments of forced smiles and lies
So I had enough of it,
I wanted you to see me and have all of me
I was on the bathroom floor,
And held a scalpel in one hand as the other brushed back my hair
To reveal a naked breast
You stared at me intently, drilling holes into my body
And I began to cut my heart out,
Which I held out to you as a peace offering
I wanted the lies to stop growing,
For you to take me in all that I was,
The way it should have been


You grimly frowned and thanked me with your eyes
As you stepped around the puddle of thick, red mess,
Leaving me to weep in my misery, in my blood and
tears
For days I couldn't eat or sleep
I could hardly breathe, either,


You meant for this all along,
You prescribed me a bit of your artificial loving
That I carelessly took, to get that "love-high"
You always seemed to be hyped up about
But in a sense, I overdosed
On it, on you
You occasionally showed up at my place of work,
Bumping into me at supermarkets or clothing stores
Each time with that filthy whore clinging to your arm,
Always making me wonder what you saw in her
I watched her choose a pair of frilly lingerie
And it made me think about her going home to you,
Wearing the stupid thing, prancing about like the slut she so clearly was,
 For she slept around behind your back, tended to men
in the late hours of the night


Fuck,
I sound like a stalker,
Excuse me, mind if I smoke?
-pulls out a cigarette and lights-
You used to smoke all the time,
Now I only do it when I think of you, of us



But I'm assuming that was your point, to tear me
inside and out
And even when I offered you what little of me I had
left,
You seemed disgusted
As if you could no longer play the game you had
convinced me
Was real, as if you couldn't stand the sight
Of the girl you once "loved"
Or whatever it was
Infatuation? Lust?
It was sickening, the sorry excuse for affection you had

You knew I wouldn't be able to stand alone
You left me very much unstable 
And had treated me like your dark princess
In a gloomy palace, 
Where I'd learn to become codependent by default
And even now I can barely stand the thought of myself
Due to you and your disappearing, 
In and out of my life
Popping up when you felt need be,
You knew you were hurting me


And you left me, to fend for myself in the sunlight,
But it's alright
My new lover has sworn our bond to secrecy,
A magic poison sealing our fate to each other,
Putting our lives in each others hands


He strengthens me in his light,
Invites me out when I become dark and lurid
I soak in all the brightness
And welcome in the sun's glare
And the childishly amusing faces of the others
His radiance embraces me in a glorifying gown,
As he smiles at curious children,
Baring his heart on his sleeve that speak to them lovingly

And for once,
My whole world has been illuminated,
As it should be

Blank II.

Posted by captainlemonberry | Posted in , , | Posted on 8:05 PM

0



Kiss my broken lips
With the copper taste of blood
From eating my heart

Little Death.

Posted by captainlemonberry | Posted in , , | Posted on 9:11 AM

1

"Bitch!" you growl
As you toss your head back in obstreperous laughter
Sharp canines dig deep into my neck
My blood permeates your mouth
While an alluring smirk drains me of my emptiness

Modicums of your saliva transfer a bit of
Your own distasteful lusting into my flesh,
Into my own body and becomes one with me
Inside, your venomous soul sets my heart ablaze
I bite down on my lip to control
My hunger, want, need, yearning for more
Affliction laced with amiable intentions

Fill myself with you,
Fill this porous body

I keep you around like alcohol on a fresh wound
You clean me inside out and rid me of my
Loneliness, bitterness, spitefulness
But with your cure comes pain;
Loving you has proven me masochistic

However, I've grown to need you
So together,
Hand in hand,
We walk towards the light 
From the open door
As *Little Death beckons us in...
...for our final chapter


*Little Death is a metaphor for orgasm

Alice.

Posted by captainlemonberry | Posted in , , , | Posted on 9:51 PM

0

Your love is cold
Your fragile lips, pale and chapped, purse in a disgusted fashion
The boy walks by,
His hair whitened by the frost
Face-to-face you stand

He was once a green tree standing tall amongst the others
There was a time when you wrapped yourself around
His wooden body, morning glories hanging lightly
Off your vine
But the harsh winter came
And so did the bitter ending

Yet, here you are again,
Almost human this time
With limbs and hearts and feelings
Both of you died together,
And were reborn in new bodies
This time you meet with stretched arms,
Feeling for each others parts

He places a cold hand on your cheek,
A single tear drips down
And freezes next to your lips
You place your hand on his
As your mouth cracks and bleeds into a smile
Your body breaks,
And he goes down with you
Buried beneath the snow,
You two die together,
Again

Blank.

Posted by captainlemonberry | Posted in , , , | Posted on 10:43 PM

1

There was something different about him
He was a strange thing, and when I saw him,
I couldn't help but take interest
I wanted him inside me,
And I kindly welcomed him in
The first few encounters were only on weekends
Over time, he began to accompany me on weekdays,
when I was exhausted and lonely
He was kind enough to let me use him;
by this time we were both aware of the situation
I had become addicted to him
Friends of mine even shared the little crush,
But with time, they irritated me
I wanted him all to myself
Months passed,
I met a boy
He spoke to me about a love I felt I had once known
"What is it?" He asked
I told him of my broken heart, torn up by the lover before
I whispered the monster's name,
Alcohol...
the boy shook his head and left
Around the same day every year,
Every time I turn a year older,
I open up my cabinet and stare at you
With your many forms and different bodies...
...but all one in the same,
And every year,
I close that door
And cry over my lost love

Just Stuff

Posted by captainlemonberry | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 9:03 PM

0

You slept with golden curls

Surrounded by the light

My darkened hair unfurled

And welcomed in the night

Porcelain skin played innocent

Humility had been your tool

Though the parents were quite impudent,

It was you who played the fool

Though rumors mainly spoke of

Fragile hands and a soul compelled

You were wicked and full of hate

Darker than the night itself


Constantly a game of war
Hands and fingers pulling
At each others hair and clothes
Eyes burning deep holes into one another
And legs kicking about
Tangled up together
In an awkward display of affection
and a loss for words
In the weird language
Our lips speak in
Like a secret the heart keeps from the mind
And you bite my lip
On impulse, rather
You sir are sleeping with the enemy
Who will not go down
Without a fight
Take my tanks if you must
Take my army if you will
Take my luck and good fortune if you can
But do not take my heart
For that is the one thing
You cannot have just yet


He had cuts on his hands
Burns on his arms
Needn't to hide them
Battle scars from better days
They didn't hurt,
These constant reminders,
They kept him strong
They kept him sane
Although bruised and beaten
He trudged on through the remains
Of old friends and old memories
Of what was and what will be
I was not as strong
A broken hand, an aching heart
Laying lifelessly beneath a willow
Drowning in my own tears
Then he saved me
Picked me up and carried me
I tossed and turned
Kicked and screamed
When I realized escaping
Was not in question
The silence in the air
Hung heavy between us
With his lips against mine
And our hands interlocked
I could feel him
*Pulsing through my veins


*I seem to like that phrase a lot...oh well...

Yellow

Posted by captainlemonberry | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 7:17 PM

1

I s t o o d i n f r o n t o f m y b r a n d n e w m i r r o r . . .

And looked at the girl who looked back at me
She seemed desperate and in need of a cut
So I promised myself that I'd make her bleed
Reaching for the scissors on my desk,
My thumb slid against the blades
She had her fill of innocence;
It was sin she'd been wanting to taste
My empty hand ran down her thigh,
And she stood there, so lost and alone
She needed to feel what I wanted to give
For contrition was all she had known
While the scissors worked to free
The long, flowing hair that framed her face,
She closed her eyes and held her breath
As my fingers explored her secret place
A few minutes passed by with eerie silence
Until the floor was covered with hair
I ran my hand through her short boy cut
And stopped just so I could stare
I tiredly gave her a look of regret
And buttoned up the clothes I'd undone
Y o u w a n t s o m e t h i n g t o b e p r o u d o f ,
And I forget that I'm a someone
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